funny t-shirt quotes

funny t-shirt quotes

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
Woody Allen

What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement?
Fred Allen

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Woody Allen

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.
Fred Allen

The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.
Dave Barry

Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
George Carlin

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
Bill Cosby

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.
Albert Einstein

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
George Burns